Kenneth C. Whitney Family Newsletter
October 2003
Kenneth C. Whitney Family Newsletter
October 2003
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Mom Tastes Stardom
A few weeks ago the Arts Council had a special program where they did a tribute to Lerner & Loewe. They introduced some of their performances with goofy narrators playing dress-up, then a group sang songs from the production. Ivan Wollenzein dressed up as a cowboy/miner, Dave Wilson dressed up as King Arthur, Ned Solomon dressed up as an English gentleman, and then they must have been really desperate for someone to dress up "French" for the film Gigi, so they asked me. Actually they asked Dad while I was in Iowa, and he forgot to tell me. So at the last minute before the performance, he sat me down and practiced a silly French accent and mannerisms with me, and voila! As much as I dreaded it, I have to admit it was rather fun. Now that I've had my taste of stardom, you may have to hold me back...look out all you thespians in the family!
The yearbook just keeps humming along--knock on wood. It's two weeks before the deadline, but the pages keep trickling in. It's just so exciting. I'm pretty proud of these kids. A friend of mine from the Post Office, Melissa, had a baby while I was there, and I subbed for her in Overton for a while. It turns out her "baby" is in 7th grade training to be yearbook editor, and can't wait to get to high school to take charge of publications. The feeling is mutual! Those little middle school editors are the greatest. I have two this year, both working wonders. Then a certain 6th grader can't wait to get into yearbook next year. His name is Jake Streett! Can you imagine??
Last weekend I drove this cute little S-10 pickup to Circleville so I could take it to Beaver for Uncle Vern. I think it was time I got away! Jack offered to take the assignment off my hands, but I held firm. It was fun cruising down the highway, and keeping Dad company while he worked on the cabin! Now that we're home, it's time to start packing for Mexico. As we made our plans, we realized that we're taking an extra day this year. Oh well! It looks like the weather will be warm and beautiful: no hurricanes, storms or cold. We're looking forward to it, and seeing Becca & Nick, and McKay, and Chris & Summer down there. Someday, we keep telling ourselves, all our "far-away" children will come home to join us in Mexico again...maybe next year! Meanwhile, this year we'll be missing you and wishing you all could be there.
Dad's been busy with work, Circleville, finishing the kitchen, and his church calling. I can't decide which talk is my favorite; they're all great. Here's his latest:
Dad's Talk
Last month's Stake theme was "Be not easily offended." This month it is "Be a true friend." The two topics dovetail nicely. Notice both months put the onus or the responsibility for action on us, not someone else. The themes weren't 'offensive people are children of Satan so it's okay to be offended and blame someone else' or 'be friends to those who are nice to you; no one else deserves it.' Rather it is up to us to not be offended and to be a true friend.
I am new to the High Council. It has been a little difficult to get to the 6 AM meetings every other Sunday. Not because I don't get up early, but after thirty years of being bearded, I forget I have to shave, and that puts me ten minutes behind. The first Sunday of last month I was determined to arrive early. I did, and at ten to six I was there as the stake presidency arrived. However, it turns out the High Council does not meet every other Sunday, rather on the second and third Sundays. August had five Sundays so I was a week early, only the presidency was going to meet that morning. They could have laughed and ridiculed me for my error. Instead President Ace said he was glad I was there and invited me in as there were things we could discuss concerning my steward. He made me feel as if I had done something smart rather than stupid. That is how we can communicate with others. Build up, not tear down. As it states in John 13:34-35, it is evident our president is a disciple of Christ, he practices love one another.
Here we are in the singles branch. One of the first things I think of when we talk of friends is my bride of almost twenty-nine years. I wonder how that applies here. Actually, the application is obvious. Most of you are still looking for your true eternal friend. Based on years of personal experience and close observation of a myriad of families, I can offer this. There are no guarantees, all that glitters is not gold and prayer is the soul's sincere desire. Take time but don't waste it. (Then the speaker singled out Clark Hardy and suggested that he had perhaps taken enough time.) Our first mission on earth is to develop traits necessary to return to our Heavenly Father's presence. The second concerns your true eternal friend and involves developing traits necessary to return to our Heavenly Father. Prayer is the key. Pray separately, pray together and pray often together and separately. Go to 2 Nephi 32: 8-9. Have fear and trepidation. Move on. Find your friend and start your lives.
Most of us have been baptized. Let's return to the Book of Mormon and read a little of what Alma taught on the baptismal covenant. Mosiah 18:8-10. If we follow the baptismal covenant as explained here by Alma we will be true friends. (We are moving beyond the one and only true eternal friend that most of you are searching for.) We just have to be willing to bear one another's burdens, mourn with those who mourn and comfort those who are in need of comfort. That sounds a little bit like home and visiting teaching. This is the third Sunday, have you made one visit yet? Did you renew your covenants with the sacrament? Home and visiting teaching are programs to help us catch the vision our Heavenly Father desires. Are you still struggling to follow the program, or are you becoming visionary?
We have a place in Circleville UT, next to the river. Once when Matt was in Middle School, we went up for a little outing. There is ancient Air Stream trailer the kids call the silver Twinkie we use to stay in. We whipped up a batch of pancakes for breakfast to have with eggs. As we poured on the syrup Matt noticed and asked about the little dots floating in the sweet liquid. They were tiny ants. They had worked their way under the lid and dove in to certain but maybe a pleasant death. Matt observed, "I wonder if the ant scout knew he was leading his friends to their death?"
There are limits on what friends can do to help one another. We must ultimately make our own choices. That is the Free Agency that was given us in the beginning at the time of the war in heaven. But true friends are vital. There are ways we can share others' burdens that they may be bearable. We can love, listen, show and testify.
First, we must love our friends. That is what the Savior does. We can do it with Him and for Him. He showed us the way in His mortal ministry. He taught by precept and example that we are to love His disciples and to become His disciples we must love one another. Let's go to John 15:12-15
"This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. "Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you. "Henceforth I call you not servants; for the servant knoweth not what his lord doeth: but I have called you friends; for all things that I have heard of my Father I have made known unto you."
Friends go beyond what is commanded (those are servants).
Second, we must listen to our friends with understanding and empathy. That will take effort and spiritual gifts, since our experiences will rarely exactly parallel those of others. It is not be enough to say, "I understand how you feel," unless we do. Confidence is found in the hearts of those who trust, and confidence and trust are built over time and with genuine communication. Hearing is not the same as listening and understanding. Sensing what people are feeling requires concentration and effort. Let me cover some ways to improve listening skills.
- Show that you want to listen.
- Look directly at others as they speak to you.
- Listen carefully. (Allow others to express their feelings even if you don't agree with them.)
- Avoid interrupting. (Even when the speaker pauses, it may not be time for you to speak.)
- Look for unspoken cues. (Facial expressions, tone of voice, and body movement can communicate a lot.)
- Share your true thoughts and feelings, not what you think others want to hear.
- Once you feel sure you are understanding correctly, you can respond helpfully.
Third, we must be an example for our friends. I hesitate to be to specific with this. You know what is expected of children of our Heavenly Father. In this time of your youth, you face many dangers and temptations. Model behavior as a true friend. There is strength in numbers. Exert peer pressure to do what is right. There are many of you who wear CTR rings. It is not just jewelry. Offer positive suggestions when darkness and Satan are near. Don't forget to pray. We can ask for and live for the companionship of the Holy Ghost. We can be obedient out of our faith in Jesus Christ. And in time we can become an example of a disciple who is born again through the Atonement. It may be gradual. It may be hard for us to discern in ourselves. But it will be real. And it will give hope to all those we befriend on the path to eternal life.
Fourth, we must testify of the truth of the gospel to our friends. It must be sincere, and it is best when it is simple. It is most helpful when it is about the reality and mission of the Savior, about our Heavenly Father's love, and of the gifts and companionship of the Holy Ghost. And it is essential to testify that the Father and the Son appeared to the young Joseph Smith and that the full gospel and the true Church have been restored by heavenly messengers. The Holy Ghost will confirm those simple declarations as truth. We need that confirmation, again and again. Should a friend choose to reject the companionship of the Holy Ghost, he or she will not endure. But that is true for all of us, wherever we are and however faithful we have been. All of us will be tested. And all of us need true friends to love us, to listen to us, to show us the way, and to testify of truth to us so that we may retain the companionship of the Holy Ghost. You must be such a true friend.
We still remember friends who touched our lives for good in the past. Parents, primary or school teachers and others. We may no longer see them regularly, but the thoughts of their love, example, faith, and testimony still lift us. Your friendship to even one may, in this life and in the next, cause hundreds or even thousands of their ancestors and their descendants to call you blessed. Be cautious of being a transparent friend, of showing 'friendship' without friendship feelings. Being a friend means encouraging and helping each other to enjoy the full blessings of the gospel. It is showing courtesy and kindness, sharing experiences, and extending service and love.
Yesterday I called someone I've known for 12+ years. He is married again for the 3rd time since we were first acquainted. He now seldom, no it is never, attends church, in fact, he asks how can there be a God with so much evil, sorrow and pain in the world. Generally speaking he lives a lifestyle of one with whom we have been taught not to associate. Because this assignment topic has been on my mind for awhile, suddenly it occurred to me this is exactly what I have been trying to convey. Here is a brother who needs a true friend, but it is not easy. If I am to follow the direction of our living prophet, the teachings of the gospel and honor the covenants I have made with our Savior, I will be this brother's friend. Why did I bring this up? I am pretty close to normal. Or say, things that happen to me are not extraordinary, rather I'm pretty close to the norm as are probably most of you. You've probably been nodding along yes we need to be friendly, yes we have a responsibility to all humans but as I, you weren't applying the message to your real life now. You have friends that need you. Find them and succor them. The worth of every soul is great.
So I have been dating a lot and meeting tons of girls. (Not to be confused with one girl that weighs tons). Little has changed though; I get shot down a lot. I am busy pretty much every day though. I have enough friends in the ward that I am always getting invited to stuff. I don't get it... I'll be with girls and having a great time with them at these parties that people invite me to, but then if I call the girls they act all weird. Whatever. I figure if they have problems with me, that's just what it is, THEIR problem. I am just myself.
I had the midterm week last week. I got back tests and so far got an A on my music test and a B on the German History test. I am yet to get back grades in the other classes.
I had a good chance to talk in church last week. I enjoyed myself and I think the audience got something out of it too.
Over the weekend some friends called me to go to Mount Charleston. We went up there to make fire and see the night. Well, 27 people showed up. We had not sufficient firewood for a fire that big, so being the big Mac, I went to work searching the forest for wood. Others soon caught the vision and came running after me to help. With the effort of the group we brought back 2 fallen pine trees. THEY thought it a bad idea to just throw them on the fire, so I distracted them for a second and when they least expected it I threw them both on the fire. They are all a bunch of city kids, so they didn't dare to take them off the fire even though they had not yet become enflamed. And they commented how it was one of the biggest bonfires they had ever seen. Those city kids just don't know what it's like to party big Mac style. Then some kid got out a guitar. I asked him a lot of questions and kind of the general mood of the group was "Quiet down farm kid, this is something you wouldn't know anything about. Its music and art." Although nobody really said that, I kind of felt it. So after a few songs I said, "That doesn't look so hard. Can I hold that... guitar or whatever?" He hesitated but then let me "hold" it. I then began to wildly sing Green eggs and Ham, Stairway to Heaven style. By the end of the night, I had them all loosened up. I don't think anyone left with hard feelings. The main thing I forgot about that stuff, is when you get home, everything you touch smells smoky. So I hopped in the shower and left my clothes out on the balcony to air out a bit.
As far as school goes, I have been researching different programs and colleges at UNLV school. I have met with a few counselors and interviewed with the various college chairs. I have come to decide to change things up a bit. I'll be changing to a communication major with emphasis in broadcast journalism. My intent is to get in the motivational speaking field. They have told me this is the best route to achieve that goal. Broadcast journalism trains a person to research, analyze and write. The other stuff about speaking is kind of natural to me. I'm excited. The opportunities include speaking for a corporation (Coca-Cola, Nike, etc.), motivating special interest groups (AA, fat people, victims of domestic abuse, etc.), and my favorite: speaking to youth groups. An advisor told me the best route as far as what I want to accomplish would be to go in the broadcast field and try to start my name. Then after a little while, become a private business and solicit my name to find opportunity. He said broadcast journalism can be a lot like motivational speaking, so I would probably enjoy that while I was building my name. I have had this notion for a little while; I just didn't want to rush into something I didn't really want. You know my track record.... ;) I am excited for this change and can see a little more clearly how this fits into my personality and abilities. Also I'm excited for Mexico.
BIG MAC
Feeling out Philadelphia
Life in Philadelphia is a whole new experience for us! With some adjustments we're getting used to things and enjoying the adventure. Jeremy's liking the school life. He carpools with four other guys. Yes, five guys somehow fit into everyone's small cars. He has no complaints though. School is so far, survivable. During lunch there's a big group of LDS guys that sit together and eat. They hurry through eating and then race down to the racquet ball courts and play mini tournaments. Oh ya, and he also enjoys his classes.
Lyle got his first runny nose/sickness the other day. I was at a loss. Luckily Mom and also Summer offered me some sound advise and he's making it through. He's growing and doing fun new things all the time. I think they are the same fun things that all babies do but man, there's nothing like watching your own baby do them! I have to be careful because I actually find myself looking around at all the other babies during sacrament meeting and feeling sorry for them because they are not as cute as Lyle. There is just something about having a baby of your own.
I'm getting used to all the differences here. I think I'm almost used to seeing tons of people around the streets that look like gang members or drug dealers. I think it must be the style here. Our ward is funny. Half of the people are graduate student small families (like us) and the other half are convert Philadelphians. So it's a new experience. My favorite part about living here is the fall season. There is this path not far from our home that's so beautiful. It's like a dream. It's far enough from the road that you don't here any city traffic. There's a river next to the path. There are tons of trees that are to the side of the path and their branches hang out above the path. The leaves are all sorts of red, orange and yellow shades. The leaves are my favorite. When they fall from the trees they don't just fall, they flutter. There are also a lot of little animals running around. I haven't seen any lizards yet though.
That's how the first few months of our life have been here and we hope everyone else is doing well.
Lyle
Lyle at 6 months!
Preparing for Winter
Happy Little Chunky Monkey
Back to Speed with Matt
Well, I suppose that I'll begin at the beginning (how ironic). When I arrived at Tucson in August, a very warm welcome waited for me: there was an Eegee's smoothie sitting in the freezer of my empty apartment. How delightful that someone knew the real reason I came to the U of A and got me right into it. Later, Becca and Nick came by and picked me up to go out to Tucson's most authentic Mariachi Mexican restaurant. Before long, my roommates moved in and marching band camp began. I suppose there are a lot of stereotypes and cliches associated with band camp, but I now have a very different idea of what a band camp can be. I have never gone to any sports camp or conditioning week that was longer, more exhausting mentally and physically, and more grueling than the U of A Pride of Arizona Band Camp. However, after a week of sore shoulders, neck, legs, toes, and especially lips, I had learned one of the most difficult songs ever placed before me (memorized) and could run around the field while playing it. Band has kept me very busy throughout the semester but I think it has definitely been worth it. After the first week of "band camp," regular rehearsals were 3:00-5:30PM Mondays and Wednesdays and 3:00-10:00PM on Fridays and then pretty much all day on the Saturdays of football games. Yesterday was our big performance: Band Day. It's basically a concert for the marching band where people come to watch us. They don't come to watch the football team and the band is just a bonus, everyone comes to see the band. The stadium was packed and they all went crazy during the dramatic points in the show and especially when the percussionists lit their cymbals on fire. Now that our big performance is over, we only have three or four games left and our rehearsals should be a lot less grueling.
I'm getting ahead of myself. Band is fun. Classes are great. I think I'm doing good in all my classes. I have either the top grade or second highest grade in my math class out of 30 students. My professor recommended me to Calculus II Honors for next semester (even though I'm technically in the honors program, they wouldn't let me take any honors classes. Go figure.). In one general ed. auditorium lecture style class I'm in, I volunteered to take notes for disabled students. Then I was hired by a "note taking service" to have my notes published and sold. To do this, I had to go through and retype all of my notes into a textbook style. It's a bit of work, but I know the material so well that I ace all the tests. Plus it pays $50 a test. That's like 500 top ramens! (1000 when they go on special). I'm eating well too by the way. Usually about once a week, I try to cook something good for my roommates so we can all sit down together and bond or something. This week I cooked in the croc-pot for the first time. It worked out pretty well. We had boneless pork ribs with potatoes, carrots, and corn. And Becca, the potatoes were great!
My singles church and institute are tons of fun and getting continually more fun as I get to remembering people's names and such. I'm in the institute chorale so I can keep up my voice as well as my trombone lips. Wednesday is getting to be my favorite day of the week as this is the official grilled cheese sandwich day at institute. Bro. and Sis. McCormick, the two missionaries in charge Tucson Institute, make up about 400 grilled cheeses for anyone to take until they're gone. My ward is a blast too. I guess since I've never really done any kind of steady family home evening before, they called me as a family home evening "Dad." The calling comes complete with wife and about 30 children, 15-20 of which show up consistently. My family and I have a good time playing games, eating cookies, reading the Ensign, and playing Dance Dance Revolution. They weren't too great at the dance dance before, but I'm really workin'em hard and I bet before long they'll be proficient at 3-4 footers. My roommates are already pros at the dance dance with how often we do it in the apartment. But we never bring out the dance pads without first doing our homework :).
Coming up in two weeks at the institute is Morp which is the equivalent to our high school's Reverse Dance (Morp is like Prom but backwards!) At first I thought I was off the hook because there's a marching band gig that night, but on Thursday, a girl in choir informed me that the dance does not even begin until our gig is over. Great. So last Friday I was in an apartment with about eight others from my apartment complex and ward, where we were all watching Singles Ward (I couldn't help but make several similarities to my own ward?). After the movie, the DVD has one special feature called "Truth or Dare." The game just asks you questions and dares you to do things associated with singles ward (i.e. call up someone and say, "This is Brother Johnson, have you done your home teaching this month?" Well, a dare landed on one particularly pretty girl named Mary who has been putting off asking anyone to Morp for some reason. Dare read, "Ask someone out on a date right now, for reals." So I piped up, "I don't have a date to morp yet!" So now I have a date to morp with Mary.
I think that brings everything back to speed. I'll see you when I see you.
Love, Matthias
Chillin' with the Bryces
Life has been settling down for me. I am completely done with all requirements to graduate. Talk about relief! I won't receive my diploma until January though. I seemed to have missed a deadline somewhere in all the hustle. I've been doing a lot of canning lately. Just yesterday I attempted to make the world's hottest salsa. I told Grandpa Howard that I was having a hard time getting my salsa very hot. (I use his tomatoes to make it.) He pulled a jar of tiny peppers out of the fridge and told me to use them in my next batch. He also recommended the use of Chili Tepin. Well my salsa is hot, but I have most definitely tasted hotter at Mom and Dad's house. (Nick thinks that my taste buds are just worn down, the salsa broke a sweat on his forehead.)
As for Nick, he is fully emerged in the fall semester. This semester is better for him because they are doing more pharmacy and less preparation classes. Also he is still working the internship at Safeway. He is enjoying having a full-time wife, as I have been promising the last couple years. If only I could keep up with the ironing! (I don't have an excuse anymore.)
Jonathan cracks us up each day as he shows-off his new tricks. His newest favorite is a variation on peek-a-boo. He walks around with a large white cloth on his head, covering his face. He'll walk right up to us, then whip it off and start laughing as we jump and gasp in surprise. Although the cloth is thin enough for him to still see through it, he still bumps into the occasional wall or chair. His mouth is full of teeth and he loves to brush them during toothbrush time. (Well brush, suck off the toothpaste, what's the difference???)
